Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
