on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
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