Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Alive.
So much puke
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
