i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
