Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
