you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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