Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
