Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize