i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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