I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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