Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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