Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
