Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize