Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
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