I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
