I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Randomize