he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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