Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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