i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
only if we run a train.
done.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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