I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
