i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
