i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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