butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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