Porn is love you can see.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Even my vagina gasped.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
