super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
