He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize