i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
