When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
