Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
