Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Quick, to the slutcave!
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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