she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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