Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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