Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Blood and glitter go together right?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
