VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
