I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I think your dad took our porno
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
