So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
