This girl is more easily done than said...
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize