There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
