I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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