so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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