I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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