watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
