So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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