if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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