found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
