I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
It's blow job season.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
you made out with another girl for some wings
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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