It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
