I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
