wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
