Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
