Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize