Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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