Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
