i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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