Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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