You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
You ate ashes out of my bong
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
