Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
