Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
