that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
