I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
