What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
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